We Asked Dads to Evaluate Their Fatherhood. Here’s What Surprised Us.

Most dads want to be good dads.

They want to provide for their families, protect their kids, teach them important lessons, and create memories that last a lifetime.

But here’s a question worth asking:

Are the things we’re good at as dads the same things our kids need most from us?

That’s one of the questions we’re exploring through 6PM Dad.

We recently launched the 6PM Dad Assessment, a tool designed to help fathers better understand their natural strengths, identify opportunities for growth, and become more intentional about the way they lead their families.

Our early assessment results are in.

And we’re beginning to see something interesting.

Dads appear to be more confident in their ability to lead, teach, and protect their families than in their ability to slow down, listen, and simply be present.

Let’s look at what we’re learning.

1. Dads Are Showing Up With Some Real Strengths

First, the good news.

The average score in our early assessment results was 75 out of 100.

That’s an encouraging starting point, although it’s important to understand that this is a score within our assessment framework, not a universal measure of parenting quality.

When we looked more closely at individual behaviours, some clear strengths emerged.

Here’s how dads rated themselves on a five-point scale:

These results tell us something important.

The dads taking our assessment generally see themselves as willing to have difficult conversations, protect their families, teach their children, and bring joy into their homes.

And that’s worth celebrating.

Sometimes conversations about fatherhood focus almost exclusively on what dads are doing wrong.

But we believe becoming a better dad starts with recognizing what’s already working.

You don’t have to become an entirely different person to become a better father.

You can build on the strengths you already have.

And that’s where things get interesting.

2. Our Biggest Growth Opportunities Aren’t Necessarily What You’d Expect

The 6PM Dad Assessment identifies seven Dad Types:

Builder. Shepherd. Vision. Play. Teacher. Warrior. Present.

Each represents a different way fathers contribute to their families.

Some dads naturally create stability. Others bring encouragement, wisdom, protection, direction, or fun.

None of these types is inherently better than another.

But when we analyzed the first results, we noticed something.

Nearly half of all identified primary growth areas fell into just two categories:

Shepherd and Present.

In fact:

• 25% of assessments identified Shepherd as the primary growth area.
• 23% identified Present as the primary growth area.
• Together, these accounted for 48% of all primary growth areas.

The Shepherd Dad is associated with emotional connection, compassion, and creating a sense of safety.

The Present Dad is associated with attention, availability, and helping children feel seen, valued, and loved.

In other words, some of our biggest opportunities for growth appear to involve how we connect with our families.

Not just what we do for them.

But how we make them feel when we’re together.

A dad can be doing a lot for his family while still having room to grow in how he connects with them.

And that’s something worth paying attention to.

3. A Surprising Finding: Present Was the Assigned Primary Type in Just 3% of Assessments

Of the seven Dad Types, Play was the most common assigned primary type, appearing in 24% of assessments.

But Present?

Present was the assigned primary Dad Type in just 3% of assessments.

Now, let’s be clear.

That doesn’t mean only 3% of dads are present in their children’s lives.

It means Present was selected as the primary type less often than the other six types. When scores tie, the assessment uses a fixed ordering that places Present last, so this percentage does not include every assessment where Present shared the highest score.

And when we looked at the individual questions, the pattern became even more interesting.

Consider these responses:

Putting distractions away and becoming fully present when arriving home.

Average score: 3.2 out of 5.

Listening without checking a phone, drifting off, or multitasking.

Average score: 3.3 out of 5.

Slowing down enough to notice what is happening in the moment.

Average score: 3.4 out of 5.

These were among the lowest-rated behaviours in the assessment.

And I think a lot of dads can relate.

You’ve spent the entire day working, solving problems, making decisions, responding to messages, and carrying responsibilities.

Then you walk through the front door.

You’re home.

But are you really there?

Your body has arrived, but your mind might still be at work.

You’re thinking about tomorrow’s meeting.

You’re checking one last email.

You’re scrolling through your phone.

And somewhere in the middle of all that, your kids are looking for your attention.

Here’s something I’m learning:

Being home and being present aren’t the same thing.

And sometimes the most important transition we make all day isn’t the drive from work to home.

It’s the transition from everything demanding our attention to the people who deserve it most.

4. Dads Are Good at Giving Answers. Listening Is Harder.

Another finding caught our attention.

One of the highest-rated behaviours in the entire assessment was answering children’s difficult questions honestly.

Dads gave themselves an average score of 4.3 out of 5.

That’s great.

We want fathers who are willing to teach, guide, and have meaningful conversations with their kids.

But look at the lowest-rated question in these results, which we interpret using the current assessment wording as:

Slowing down to listen before giving advice when someone is upset.

Average score: 3.1 out of 5.

That’s a noticeable difference.

And it raises an interesting question.

Are we sometimes better at giving our kids answers than giving them our attention?

As dads, we often want to fix things.

Our child has a problem?

We have a solution.

They’re frustrated?

We have advice.

Something went wrong?

We know what they should do differently next time.

And sometimes that’s exactly what our kids need.

But sometimes they don’t need another answer.

They need someone to listen.

Someone who isn’t distracted.

Someone who isn’t rushing to the next thing.

Someone who makes them feel like what they’re experiencing actually matters.

Here’s a simple thought:

Your kids don’t always need you to solve their problems. Sometimes they just need you to understand them.

That’s not weakness.

That’s connection.

And connection is something we can all get better at.

5. So What Do These Results Actually Tell Us?

We’re still early in this research.

Our first group of respondents chose to participate, so these findings shouldn’t be interpreted as representing every father in Canada.

And because the assessment measures self-reported behaviours, we’re learning how dads perceive their own strengths and challenges, not independently observing their parenting.

But even with those limitations, a meaningful pattern is emerging.

The dads participating in our assessment generally report confidence in the responsibilities traditionally associated with fatherhood.

Teaching.

Protecting.

Providing practical support.

Having difficult conversations.

But they report greater difficulty with some of the quieter aspects of fatherhood.

Listening.

Slowing down.

Putting distractions away.

Being emotionally available.

And perhaps that’s one of the most important lessons we can take from these early results.

Being a good dad isn’t just about what you provide. It’s also about what your family experiences when you’re present.

Your kids need your wisdom.

They need your protection.

They need your leadership.

But they also need your attention.

Your patience.

Your affection.

Your willingness to stop what you’re doing and enter their world.

And the good news?

These are things we can practice.

6. Three Things Every Dad Can Start Doing Tonight

Research is helpful.

But information without action doesn’t change much.

At 6PM Dad, our goal isn’t simply to understand fatherhood.

It’s to help dads get better at it.

So based on what we’re learning, here are three simple practices worth trying.

1. Give Your Family the First Ten Minutes

When you get home, put your phone away.

Not on the counter where you can see notifications.

Actually put it away.

For the first ten minutes, give your family your undivided attention.

Ask questions.

Give hugs.

Get on the floor and play.

Be available.

You don’t need to create some elaborate family experience.

Just be there.

2. Listen Before You Fix

The next time your child tells you about a problem, resist the urge to immediately offer a solution.

Instead, try saying:

“Tell me more about that.”

Or:

“How did that make you feel?”

You might be surprised by what happens when your kids realize you’re genuinely interested in understanding their experience.

3. Ask Your Kids One Important Question

At some point this week, ask your children:

“What’s one thing you wish we did together more often?”

Then listen.

Don’t explain why you’re busy.

Don’t make excuses.

Just listen.

And if possible, find a way to make it happen.

Sometimes becoming a better dad starts with a surprisingly simple conversation.

7. We’re Just Getting Started

One of the reasons we created 6PM Dad was because we believe fathers deserve more than generic parenting advice.

We want to help dads understand how they’re wired, recognize their strengths, and identify the specific areas where they can grow.

And as more fathers complete the assessment, we’ll continue learning.

We’ll explore the different Dad Types.

We’ll examine common challenges.

And we’ll share practical strategies to help dads build stronger relationships with their children.

Because here’s what I believe:

You don’t have to be a perfect dad to make a powerful difference in your children’s lives.

You just have to be willing to keep growing.

And sometimes the first step toward becoming the dad you want to be is understanding the dad you are today.